Tuesdays with Morrie

'Do you know how they brainwash people? They repeat something over and over. And that's what we do in this country. Owning things is good. More money is good. More property is good. More commercialism is good. More is good. More is good. We repeat it -- and have it repeated to us -- over and over until nobody bothers to even think otherwise. The average person is so fogged up by all this, he has no perspective on what's really important anymore.'

- Sigmund Freud

No mortal can keep a secret.

If his lips are silent,

he chatters with his fingertips;

Betrayal oozes out of him

at every pore.

Dearly beloved,

we are gathered
here today to mourn
the phone calls we
never got and the
lonely seasons.
The children cried,
"Does it ever go away?"
They're asking about heartache
and you know better than to lie,
so you answer truthfully
and you say no.
"It doesn't go away."
Everyone is taught to
look both ways before
crossing the street and
to talk quietly in the library,
but nobody ever learns
anything that matters,
like how to keep breathing
when your heart breaks in half.



-Author Unknown

Seven Years

I can't seem to understand why you've stayed around for this long

I've slowly torn you apart
Year after year

I'm sorry I made you fall for me....
And I'm sorry I never knew what I wanted

You deserve so much more than this....
Much more than I can give you

You deserve your "perfect girl"
And I'm not her

You've always been stuck in my heart
And my heart is where you'll stay

Gitchee Gitchee Goo
Here's to those seven years you've been put through hell but always came back
Here's to you and the mark you've made on my life
Cheers
This is for you


-Gimpy

There's Too Much At Stake

I've never seen someone care that much for me

And you did care

Until I couldn't give you what you thought you needed

I didn't want to see you go

Cause I was afraid of where you'll end up

But I am so much better off now that you're gone

You never meant a thing to me Lie lie lie lie lie

I've been filled with white lies and empty promises since you day you went away

It makes it easier to get by

Sunny Days Hurt The Most

As my weary eyes brush across the casket, I noticed a small rainbow form across her from the sun. I think, "My, she is beautiful".

Bittersweet moment.

My eyes settle on a plastic bag by her head containing dice and a score card from a game of Yahtzee.

The letter within read,

"You're in the lead now but you won't be once we unite again.

I love you, Love Garry".

And right there before me, the love they shared for all those years flashed across my mind.

He leans down to grab her hand, kisses her forehead, his eyes fall to her face.

Choking back tears, he says;

"I'm sorry for fighting with you earlier. It should've never happened. I'm

going to miss you. I can't wait to see you again..... I love you...."

Tears form behind my eyes.

How can the world keep moving on when true love ends?

You Sold Me Out

As I'm driving down the road,

I watch the snowflakes fall and land softly on the pavement.

A song comes on the radio and it reminds me of you.

You are always in my thoughts as if you were right here with me.

They say nothing real has a happy ending, so be nothing with me.

DDL

02-07-2006

I'm A Mess And You Know That I Can't Help It

I felt like the whole world had just walked out on me... given up on me.

Everyday I wished I could love myself when I didn't feel it from anyone else.

I felt the kind of pain that made me want to hurt everybody around me because I was suffering and they weren't,

Because they could breathe without feeling guilty

And hold a normal conversation without breaking down into tears.

I wanted to feel that I was loved.

I longed for that feeling.

In The Moonlight, Your Face... It Glows

All she can think about is the boy who may change her life forever...

Linda Lou Fenton

I

broke

down

every

thought

process

trying

to

climb

into

a

world

where

the

sickness

became

consumed

by

her.

Lemony Snicket

"It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. We all know that our time in this world is limited, and that eventually all of us will end up underneath some sheet never to wake up. And yet it is always a surprise when it happens to someone we know. It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is... Your foot falls down, through the air and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise as you try and readjust the way you thought of things."

Picture

Waves that breathe

In

Out

In

Out

Seagulls squeal overhead

Children laugh, sand between their toes

The sea loses itself in the clouds

Sky, gray in color

The day, murky and bleak

Wrapped in somber dampness

Salty lips upon grumpy faces

Water licking freshly-built sandcastles

Cocoa butter sunscreen and the stench of underwater sea creatures

Whipping, bone-chilling wind

Coarse, sandy hair dampened by raindrops

LIVING N I G H T M A R E

Curling up into a ball under the blankets and falling asleep

Waking up in a world where everything is simple and she’s happy

A wish she’d give anything for to be granted

But daylight seeps through the cracks in these walls

Burns her sleepy eyes

Her beautiful dream dissolves into a nightmare

Sitting up in bed with her hand over her face

The scene that plays out before her becomes clearer

Lay back down and close those eyes

This nightmare will soon succumb

amazing piece.

My Mask

Don't be fooled by me. Don't be fooled by the face I wear. For I wear a thousand masks; masks that I'm afraid to take off and none of them are me. Pretending is an act that's second nature to me, but don't be fooled, for God's sake, don't be fooled! I give the impression that I'm secure; that all is sunny and unruffled with me, within as well as without. That confidence is my name, and coolness my game, and that I need no one. But don't believe me, please. . .
My surface may seem smooth, but my surface is my mask. Beneath this lies no complacence. Beneath dwells the real me, in confusion, in fear and aloneness. But I hide this. I don't want anybody to know it. I panic at the thought of my weakness and fear of being exposed. That's why I frantically create a mask to hide behind, a nonchalant, sophisticated facade to help me pretend, to shield me from the glance that knows . . .but such a glance is precisely my salvation, my only salvation and I know it. That is, if it's followed by acceptance, it's followed by love. It's the only thing that will assure me of what I can't assure myself. . .that I am worth something. But I don't tell you this. I don't dare. I'm afraid to. I'm afraid that you'll think less of me, that you'll laugh, and your laugh will kill me. I'm afraid that deep down I'm nothing, that I'm no good and that you will see this and reject me. So I play my game, my desperate game; with a air of assurance without and a trembling child within. And so begins the parade of masks, my life becomes a front. I idly chatter to you in the suave tones of surface talk. I tell you everything that is really nothing, and nothing of what's everything, of what's crying within me, so when I'm going through my routine, do not be fooled by what I'm saying. Please listen carefully and try to hear what I'm not saying; what for survival I need to say, but what I can't say. I dislike hiding, honestly. I dislike the superficial game I'm playing, the phony game. I'd really like to be genuine and spontaneous and me, but you've got to help me. You've got to hold out your hand, even when that is the last thing I seem to want. Only you can wipe away from my eyes the blank stare of a breathing death. Only you can call me into aliveness. Each time you are kind and gentle and encouraging, each time you try to understand because you really care; my heart begins to grow wings, very small wings, very feeble wings, but wings. With your sensitivity and sympathy, and your power of understanding, you can breathe life into me. I want you to know that. I want you to know how important you are to me. How you can be the creator of the person that is me, if you choose. Please choose to. You alone can break down the wall behind which I tremble. You alone can remove my mask. You alone can release me from my shadow world of panic and uncertainty, from my lonely person. Do not pass me by. . .please. . .do not pass me by. It will not be easy for you. A long conviction of worthlessness can build strong walls. The nearer you approach me, the blinder I strike back. I cry against the very thing I cry out for, but I am told that love is stronger than walls; and in this lies my hope. Please try to beat down those walls, with firm hands, but with gentle hands; for a child is very sensitive. Who am I, you may wonder? I am someone you know very well. I am every man you meet. I am every woman you meet . . .. I am you

Her Superhero

There she was, standing on the ledge of the building

She stares down at the busy street

I had just gotten to the roof of the building

I just stood there watching her

Why was she up here?

I had been looking everywhere for her

 

Then in a blink of an eye, she was gone

Was I seeing things?

Where could she have gone?

Then I heard the screaming

She had jumped

If she wanted to die, why was she screaming?

 

But she couldn’t die, I love her

I had to save her from death

Next thing you know, I was jumping after her

Now we were both falling toward the earth

I could see her in front of me

But can I catch her before she hit the earth?

 

I had to stop thinking and move

I leaned forward and picked up speed

We were close enough for me to move

And I caught her in my arms

We were both falling toward our death

But she was safe in my arms

 

She looked up at me, into my eyes

She stopped screaming for we weren’t falling anymore

We were flying and the look in her eyes

Nothing but love for being saved by a superhero

She knew I was always there for her

I was her superhero

-By wockachow

[:

This is by far my most favoritest poem ever. End of story.

Superhero

I leap out of the booth and take to sky

A trail of silver stars is all you see,

Unwilling to believe that I can fly

You cannot see the love that powers me.

I bend the bars of steel that hold you in

Allowing your escape from heartbreak’s hold,

My speed excites your lips and makes you grin

But still your smile is hiding something cold.

My x-ray vision peers behind your eyes

And cauterizing hurt I see a rose,

Your heart is on a podium – a prize

For me to win if I beat memory’s foes.

I wrap you in a cloak of magic charms

And fly you to the moon to watch you shine,

You see the light and fall into my arms

That past succumbs to super love divine.

Yet again, I did not write this but it’s simply beautiful[:

If I Could Be A Superhero

I don’t think I could be Superman

I’m sort of scared of heights

I’d sort of like to be Spiderman

But I’m afraid of spider bites

 

I suppose I could be Wolverine

But I’m afraid people would stare

I’d consider being the Incredible Hulk

But radiation’s bad for your hair

 

The Fantastic Four, now there’s a thought

But I’m not sure that’s for me

Ben’s too ugly, Johnny too hot

and Sue I just can’t see

 

Maybe though I could be Reed

And lead the other three

Well maybe Reed’s a bit of a stretch

I can barely take care of me

 

Captain America, him perhaps

I love his mighty shield

But I fear I’m not brave enough

When things get rough, I yield

 

If I could be a superhero

I wonder which I’d be

Or maybe it’s time I find

The hero inside of me

 

 

Kahsyboo did not write this… But… She loves it.

What makes you feel alive

“I think about you all the time

I’m with you almost everyday

Even when I am not

But you are with me everyday

Every hour, every minute, every second, all the time

You are in my mind

You consume my thoughts

I think about you all the time

You as a person in my mind and as a real person

They are the same

For when I am with you, you are in my mind

Even in my heart

I feel for you

I think about you all the time

We walk the hallways of this school side by side

I wish we were always side by side

And not just in my mind

I think about you all the time

Do you think of me?

If so, how often?

Because I think about you all the time

I will remember you long after you’ve forgotten me

So next time, think of me

Don’t forget

Just remember

And think”

-wockachow

You’re all theory, No action

You brought me to this place

And I remember everything

I believed in every word

So now it kills to say your name

Let’s light up the town, Scream out loud, Paint these streets with out emotions

Blue jean baby, L.A. lady, seamstress for the band

Pretty eyed, pirate smile, you’ll marry a music man

Ballerina, you must have seen her dancing in the sand

And now she’s with me, always in me, tiny dancer in my hand

-Elton John “Tiny Dancer”

Props to Mr. Kyle Coley[:

Rosalia Lombardo

Sleeping Beauty

Look it up[:

Amateurs built the Ark… Professionals built the Titanic

If you pet a cat 70 million times, you will have developed enough static electricity to light a 60-watt light bulb for one minute.

I believed in every word so now it kills to say your name.

I hope you think of me

But in good ways

And not how I see you

I hope my eyes burn into your soul

Cause I can’t stand it when you turn those ocean eyes my way

I hope I left my mark in your heart

I know you scarred mine

-ferriswheelboy

Jinx me something crazy…

Remember when you were afraid I’d never find someone to treat me how you did?

Now I’m the one who’s afraid…

-ferriswheelboy

I want to go back to knowing nothing and believing in everything…

“I am as a child on the seashore picking up problems while the ocean of truth lies unknown before me.”

-Sir Isaac Newton

ƧPЯӨᄃΚΣƬ αη∂ GΛDGΣƬƧ

There is no room for the artificial.

Second Chances don’t MATTER people never change.

I’ll keep your memory vague

So you won’t feel bad about me

I’ll say the things that you said

Sometimes so it reminds me

-Finger 11

Swing High... Reach For The Fence This Time

Swing me
Swing me 'round
I don't want to touch the ground

Swing me an hour
Swing me some more
Swing me until a quarter past four

Swing me til summer
Swing me through fall
I promise I'll never get tired at all

So.. I totally wrote this when I was a youngen.

My mommy gave me all these dirty, old papers

and they were poems I wrote as a child.

My Weapon is NOTW as I AM NOTW

feeling lost and alone
unsure and insecure
but what's wrong
what's happening in my no-so-perfect-at-all life
falling to pieces at the seams
everything.. murky
everything.. bleak
staring through blurry gray eyes
where do you go when you just want to give up
staring through blurry gray eyes
who am I now
who did I used to be
why is my world slowly falling apart around me
or maybe it just feels that way
what's happening
who did this to me
who made me feel like this
piercing thoughts
and painful questions
why me
why now
just leave me be
quit crawling under my skin
I won't let you win
I won't let you get to me
I'm stronger than that
He's stronger than that
you and I both know it
and you're scared
scared to lose my soul
but I've got news for you
the battle has been in my favor
it's not in your hands
it will never be in your hands
you'll lose once again
because His power is much more stronger
His love is real
I won't give in
I won't burn eternally
I will follow Him
so leave your games in the pits of your fire
this heart belongs to God
nothing is wrong with me
and I am strong
I a m s t r o n g

Saturday, May 03, 2008

2:27 AM

First Class Ticket To A Night All Alone And A Front Row Seat Right By The Phone

the sound of your voice

the loudest thing in my head

the way you said my name

the only way I want it to be said

the lips that made me fly

the only lips I want on mine

the arms that held me close

I never wanted you to let go…

-sunshine kid

You make every thought a chain reaction, You’re a beautiful distraction.

He’s more than the stars

More than the sun

And the moon

Day and night

He’s way more than all those put together

Kahsy es chida, ¿no?

Sí, Kahsy es muy chida (:

A Cheap Name

“Wisdom comes from suffering

Tell me why’d you let him give you a cheap name

It’s time to come home

Playtime’s over now

It’s my world

It’s my plan

It’s my sea

It’s my land

It’s my moon

They’re my stars

You’re my mind

You’re my heart

What’s your choice

What’s your role

You’re my life

You’re my soul

You’re my son

You’re my seed

We’re one love

Come home, please

                                                             -Brian “Head” Welch

Tear Right Through Your Lungs

“We are born with our eyes closed and our mouths open, and we spend our whole lives trying to reverse this mistake of nature.”

                                                                -Dale E. Turner

Program Terminated

One look at the skin and we figure we’ve analyzed it exactly to know what’s going on inside.

In yet, we still don’t stop when we realize how wrong we truly are.

Promise of New Life

[epigram]

 

I asked Jesus “How much do you love me?”

And He stretched out His arms upon that cross

Why do You spread Your arms, tell me I’m free

Follow me, my child, no matter the cost

My children are so much more than worthless

I’ll show you what this life is all about

But, my daughter, please search for the surface

Oh, my dear Lord, I will without a doubt

I’ll be crying out, face down on my knees

Give it all to You each and everyday

Jesus, You’re my favorite disease

The enemy’s games I will not dare play

You are what I reach for when I fall

One day without You makes me feel so small

I’ve had my run; baby, I’m done. I’m coming back home.

Though it’s hard to let you go, there’s comfort in knowing where you’ll be. It is said that death is the doorway into eternal life. This isn’t the end, but rather, the beginning. You left your mark in our hearts and that’s where you’ll always stay until the day we see your face again. Until then, we’ll look towards the sky and feel you in our souls. There is rest for the weary. Rest in peace, grannylindpants.

                                                                              04/01/09

Unfortunate Happenings

The patter of raindrops and the sudden boom of thunder had everyone on the edge of their seats before the night drew closer. It seemed an odd night was drawing upon us but no one could quite place the reason as to why. Mysterious things appeared to be occurring rather frequently on this murky night. It were as if someone had placed a shade over the sun and the whole town had become consumed by its darkness. Every clock in town had slowed its rhythmic ticking to a halt and every picture had fallen from its secure place upon the wall. This was not a night like any other. No… tonight would be different.

THE BLACK DEATH

[Tidbit from English paper]

 

“Bodies were consuming the streets in lifeless heaps like broken dolls, children were singing of falling like ashes, and the smell that lingered in the air was enough to make you cringe. Life was no longer about living it up, it was about learning how to survive every single passing day.”

WALKING WITH SILENCE IN DECEMBER

There she stands; looking into the mirror

Right into the eyes that are familiar; in yet, not so

Eyes that are empty; eyes filled with nothing

Staring back at her; a face of fear, of shame

Screaming into the mirror, pounding her fist

Nothing she ever does is right… nothing

She’s searching for answers to questions that remain unasked

For fear of the truth

For fear of what it could mean

She wants to know what it’s like to love

She was told:

            “It’s like walking with silence in December

             feeling like your heart just exploded into

             millions and you don’t care enough to feel it.”

Such a foreign feeling to her

She’s never felt that

She falls

Hitting the tile floor hard

She doesn’t know who she is anymore, she never did

MAKE A SCENE

At my house tonight

Something is not right

What could I have done to make him so mad

What could I have done to be so bad

Tonight will not be quiet

There will be a riot

No one can see the pain I feel

But this is real

All the cuts and bruises

All the lame excuses

My words will not be left unspoken

Tonight, the silence will be broken

ANOMALY

Here’s to you…

And how you left me

Stranded and confused

Here’s to you…

And how the world stopped around us

A slight glitch in the spinning

A wrinkle in time

So promise her you’ll stop talking to me

Promise her you won’t even dare look my way

I did nothing wrong

This was not my fault

-honky

NUMB

I know you want to hurt me

I see the rage in your eyes

I know how to push you over the edge

*SLAP*

round one

And I just keep pushing

Why don’t I just shut up

*SLAP*

round two

Pain shoots through my body

Can’t you see how you hurt me

*SLAP*

round three

Down for the count

Fresh bruises on porcelain skin

I can’t breathe

Everything becomes distorted

GAME OVER

You win

3 years

X-Rays

Inhalers

EKG

Look at how you left me…

“I AM WITH YOU; THAT IS ALL YOU NEED” –2Corinthians 12:9

When I walk away from You

Everything falls apart

When I walk away from You

I lose another piece of my fragile heart

When I walk away from You

Sin is crouching at my door

When I walk away from You

I’m broken down to the core

When I run to You

I know I’m not alone

When I run to You

I feel You down in my bones

When I run to You

The enemy stops dead in his tracks

When I run to You

We make such an impact

YOUR THOUGHTS ARE SO SIMPLE, BUT SO BEAUTIFUL

Tick…

Tock…

Can you hear it?

That deafening sound that’s causing you to lose sleep

That constant, rapid beating

That rhythmic pulse

That’s me

That’s my heart

It’s beating for you

It’s ticking away the seconds until I see you again

It’s counting up all the endless times you’ve made me smile

And laugh

It’s telling you where you belong

Here…

With me…

In my heart…

where you’ll always have a place

-boofacedanibear

FORCED TO THINK HELL IS A PLACE CALLED HOME

The echoing in her head

The nightmare she can’t awake from

[you make me want to go outside in the alley and shoot myself right in front of you so you can see what you do to me]

So beat her like you always do

Same old night with just a different tune

Bruise her eye and break her ribs

It’s to be expected anyway

C’mon now

Don’t disappoint her

Lay that hand across her face

At least then she feels like somebody

At least then she knows she’s not invisible

TELL ME SOMETHING REAL…

I want to be an airplane

So I can fly the skies

Constantly watching over you

I’ll be your angel in disguise

I want to be the moon

So I can shine through to you

Watching you sleep

And dreaming of a world where we’d always be together

A world where love rules over hate

I want to be a clock

I’d stop and restart time all over again

Ticking away the minutes until we’d be together

Whatever keeps me here with you

We’d be stuck in this moment forever

I swear it’d be perfect

-ferriswheelboy

LET’S GET DOWN TO THE NITTY GRITTY

I know you can hear it…

But are you listening?

The melody is catchy but those words…

Those words speak of things she won’t say

Things she can’t say

Read between the lines

(Isn’t that what they say?)

Can’t you hear her heart?

It’s in those words

Are you listening?

Pain never sounded so sweet

She’s fragile but she won’t let this break her

She’s given too much for this to end

Who ripped her heart out and left her there to bleed?

Poor girl… she does bleed so pretty though, doesn’t she…

It’s a wonder how she’s still so strong

It’s a wonder how she’s not broken

She’ll be okay

Did you listen to that?

She’ll be just fine

She always is

She doesn’t play the damsel in distress so don’t think you can rescue her

Cardboard Boxes

This is what my life has seemed to turn into.
Nothing but brown, cardboard boxes filled with objects that symbolize my life.
A life I can never seem to remove from it's home it has grown to know so well.
Stability is not an option.
No... Stability has never been an option.
Just pick up and leave.
Every time the same as before.
More new memories in a place I don't want to call 'home'.
A place I never will call 'home'.
Home is where the heart is.
Cliche'.... I know.
But my heart isn't locked in a building with those people.
Home is where you feel love and safety.
Those feelings are foreign here.
This place is not my 'home'.
Not any more than the cardboard boxes are my 'home'.

Love Bugs?

I used to have tons of pet ladybugs. But only two of them meant the most. Sputnick and Stumblebum. We assumed they were boy and girl. But I killed them... On accident of course. I would never take a life... And especially the life of a ladybug. My poor dears suffered death while I suffered from insanity. I was too consumed in the way he looked at me... The way he made me feel. Such a tragedy. Both my temporary insanity, some call it 'love', and they deaths of my ladybugs. Maybe our love died when Sputnick and Stumblebum died. Far fetched? Maybe but it's the only reasonable explanation my heart can come up with. Nothing else makes sense..


This is Sputnick. He's the boy...

Green AND Leafy

Did you know that asparagus makes your pee smell weird? I've never noticed.. I don't fancy the green substance anyway. But if you eat some... be sure to tell me how your pee smells.

Dear Pacific Day:

Won't you come and take me away?
The low December tide shows us the only way in and the only way out.
The high tide could carry me so far away...

My God, He was, My God, He is, My God is always gonna be..

I came across a picture the other day and it really got me thinking..
Here's the picture:



It made me realize that I've been claiming to live this life for Christ when I've recently fallen and forgot about the Savior. I need to start letting God write my life story instead of me trying to write my own. Because it's not my own, it's His alone. All of me is His. He laid on that cross.... and He thought of me. And of you. So living for Him is not such a big price but it's what He wants.